I recently read the paper, "All Real Life is Encounter: On the Sustainable Relevance of Being Surprised and Affected" by Peter F. Schmid.
I highly recommend it—it has sparked an ongoing internal dialogue about the nature of encounters. For reasons I cannot fully articulate, it feels profoundly important and relevant to me, both personally and in a broader societal context. On a micro level, it has made me reflect on my own interactions, and on a macro level, it resonates in a polarized world where people often seem unwilling or unable to meet others where they are.
I realize now that I haven’t given much thought to what it means to genuinely encounter someone. I had assumed it was simple, perhaps even natural. After all, we interact with people every day—surely it’s a skill we inherently possess, one that doesn’t require practice. But now I wonder: how often do we truly encounter others?
This has led me to examine how I engage with people, even those in my daily life. Do I show up as my whole self? What parts of me am I withholding or distorting? Am I truly accepting the other person in their entirety, and do I communicate that acceptance?
I’ve started thinking about the layers of personality we all carry—the "onion skins" of self that we sometimes shed. I’m reflecting on the layers I’ve let go of over the years: ones I once believed were essential. These layers seemed useful at the time, offering protection or elevation, but in hindsight, they were obstacles to genuine connection.
Some layers fell away through the slow process of growth and experience; others were stripped by sudden, dramatic realizations. But I’m left wondering: how many layers remain? How much more shedding must I do before the authentic me is fully present—able to encounter others without any veil between us?
Even more intriguingly, I question the layers I cannot see—the ones hidden from my awareness. These may be shaped by deep-seated truths or fears buried so profoundly that I remain blind to them. Will I look back years from now, as I do today, and marvel at how I couldn’t see the layers that have since fallen away?
This paper has stayed with me, lingering in my thoughts and stirring these reflections. I’m still chewing it over.